Jesus Cures AIDS

13 09 2006

The pope has some things to say:

Benedict, on the second day of a visit to his native Bavaria, said that spreading the word of Jesus Christ was more important than all the emergency and development aid that rich churches like those in Germany gave to poor countries.

He also stressed the role of faith in fighting AIDS “by realistically facing its deeper causes,” indirectly confirming the Church view that pre-marital abstinence and fidelity in marriage are the way to combat sexually transmitted diseases.

So the next time any of you sinners need to take your AZT – consider reading a passage from the bible instead. 

Also, once you accept Jesus Christ as your lord and savior, it won’t matter that you’re poor.  You’ll realize that you are nothing more than a measly sinner that has to be constantly begging for forgiveness – you’ll see that you’re only as malnourished as you deserve.

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4 responses

13 09 2006
Kate

There is an interesting article in Time that even disputes the idea that you shouldn’t even be poor. So much for that whole camel through the eye of a needle thing.

http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1533448,00.html

P.S. I kick ass, with these comments and all, I should be in your will.

14 09 2006
Mitchell

It’ll never fit. Camel through the eye of a needle. . . that’s just crazy talk.

14 09 2006
Kate

Whoa there! Are you implying that the Bible uses metaphor. You and I both know darn well that the omnipotent, omnipresent, and all powerful God is capable of creating the universe but incapable of speaking in metaphor.

Its literal darn it! So you best start working on making really small camels if you are going to have any shot at heaven. Or just make some really big needles.

By the way, that would be an awesome statue to make. Just a really big needle, and a plaque under it saying “Problem solved. In your face, God!” It could go right out side the Denver County Club.

14 09 2006
Mitchell

Hah – that’s good. we could replace the ten commandments monumnet in civic center park with it. . . i’d be down for that. speaking of which, the city of denver has yet to hear from me about that thing . . .

I got letters to write!

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